Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Lost

Dear Diary,

I feel so empty today. Even though I went for Hip Hop session by An An in O school, I still feel empty. My dancemates were so full of zeal that they wanna whack somemore at Republic Polytechnic. I turned down the offer as it will be too far for me to go home if i join them.

On my way home, I think about my life. Somehow i regret that i fail to cherish those moments who care and concern about me. I just feel so lost. I know it's gonna be like this when i start to enter the workforce. So it's gonna hurt a bit right now. There goes "Oh Lord", the song that i wrote.

I wanna sing a song,
That I can pour my heart out.
Through strums and rhythms,
Every day and night.
Though my neighbours complain,
I still continue to sing.
The feeling of emptiness,
It's unbearable cold.

Oh Lord....
Give me strength.
Show me your path,
So I can walk again.
Oh Lord...
Teach me Love.
I am not perfect.
So change me inside out.

Well, thing just doesn't get any better. I wonder why is it so tough to handle emotions. It is amazing how big size and superior we are, yet we are so weak inside.
Yet it is another bitter escape today.

another bitter escape
8:27 AM

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Morning..

Dear Diary,
I just sang the song that i wrote last week. I am thinking of how to make the song beautiful. After several thoughts, i have learnt that beautiful song prevails when we sing with our heart out.

I just vacuumed my room, changed my bedsheets and folded clothes. I arranged my sneakers neatly as well. I guess i have 9 pairs of shoes including bball shoes, rock climbing and soccer boots :)

Since I am at home today, it is a duty for me to do housework. I am hardly at home as I have too much freedom, but i am able to discipline myself. Hehex.

I gotta leave for work now. I will see ya later.

another bitter escape
9:55 AM

Uncle's Mat

Dear Diary,
I felt quite lost when i was on my way home from tuition. I spent the night before at uncle's mat place in Toa Payoh. I used to stay there before i moved to Clementi. We have quite a strong bondage in friendship. He is a senior pastor in Bethesda church in Ang Mo Kio. There went the night as he shared with me biblical scriptures. I realize that my biblical knowledge is so shallow. Basically, i only hear a short message from the service and cell group. I feel that most of it are life applications. But we do not really try to understand the meaning in it. And so i pray for guidance.

another bitter escape
12:08 AM

Saturday, May 24, 2008

God is good

Dear Diary,
It was a bright and sunny morning at Doctor's place. I dislike the moment when i have to leave early in the morning from there. Drawing apart from someone that you are close with, is a bitter feeling. It was another bitter escape today. Come to think of it, I have changed. I have become more filled with emotion now. I have no idea how i got it. So i seek God for help. I read the book 'Kiss Dating Goodbye' by Joshua Harris. It told me that the feeling of loneliness means that God wanna us to draw closer to him and seek for him. And so i prayed and placed the rest of the day into God's hands.
I went to Pasir Ris Secondary school together with dance mate, Fred to teach Boys and Girls Brigade Hip Hop. The boys were so disorganized and disobedient. It was not easy to tame them down. But i see it as a challenge to teach them. We selected the best 8 boys and 8 girls out of all of them. Phew, and i was late for work.
The sales was not bad, i managed to sell 1Macbook and Macbook Air today. Thank you God!
My feet are sore and I had to accompany Jian Ning to town to get his banana republic clothes. *droolinx*.

In Banana Republic.

I gotta work hard to get those rare items!

another bitter escape
8:01 AM

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Multimedia Integrated

The working environment in Multimedia Integrated(Apple Centre) is quite slack. The bosses are fun people. I am so tempted to get an Ipod Touch. The screen is rather big and clear. Love the movies in it.

Watching Step Up 2006 while waiting for my colleague to take the I mac CPU. It was freaking heavy.
Thereafter, i rushed to Kembangan for tuition until 10.30. I gotta meet up with Gary for supper near Siglap Centre.
He was in high spirit as he won back several matches of betting. He even treated me for Hokkien noodles and Mee Goreng. Man, i gotta treat him back next time. I went to his place and stayed over. Did some push-ups together.

He taught me how to be strong inside.
Miss your company Bro!

We played WII and guitar freak hero until 4am. Gosh!I gotta wake up for work the next day. Apple, here I come!!

another bitter escape
7:02 PM

Monday, May 19, 2008

Sunday Spree

It was a bright and clear morning. I had to drag my feet to wake up for morning service to expo.
I feel that we tend to go services for the sake of not making our Cell Group Leader unpleased. But Thus, we should try to remind ourselves that the word of God and the spiritual atmosphere from the service is always awesome. I am sure that our whole week of toughness is revitalized every time we go for services.
Thereafter, my cell group went for Prayer Meeting at Riverwalk. And i met up with Gary, Aaron and Yee Tat in town. We were planning to watch movie, but Yee Tat didn't wanna join. So we hung around at starbucks in Wisma instead.

                                                                                                   With Gary, Aaron and Yee Tat

We went to Wala-Wala and met Aaron's army buddies. We were talking about the girls that his friends brought. The Beer was bitter. Almost got drunk (uneasy feeling).

another bitter escape
6:43 PM

Friday, May 16, 2008

God is good

Dear Diary,

I would like to express gratitude to God for many things. Firstly, I got myself this position in Apple Funan Mall as salesperson. It is quite new to me. The insight of communication with the customers is fantastic. Secondly, I have made a new friend, Jian Ning. I got to know him from Rou. He is a great chap to hang out with as well as a computer consultant to seek for. Thirdly, I have got the chance to choreograph for Boys Brigade and Girls guide ministry in my church. I feel that i do not have the confident to do it as i start to learn dance not long ago.
The indonesian service was great just now. The message in summary is to encourage all of us to reach out the suburbs in other part of Indonesia. Not forgetting, all the Guccis and LVs that the ladies carried, made me scared. Hahax.

Labels: God is Good

another bitter escape
10:07 AM

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mama's Day

Dear Diary,

Today is a Mother's Day. And my mom is not here with me. I wonder how is she doing right now in Indo.
The drama in the service and the sharing of dedication to moms really touched me so deep that i teared, especially
on the part that the boy mentioned how his mom used to tell bedtime story to him.
During those days, my mom used to tell me bedtime story before going to bed. Whenever i was sick, she never failed to stay by my side
and ensure my condition was on the right track. Herbal tea, chrysanthemum tea, green bean soup, fish and chicken porridge are all the 'cuisine' that i have enjoyed.
As years go by, we tend to be so absorbed with our school and social life that we have neglected our parents especially in this competitive society. Many of us tend to learn to be so money-minded, selfish and insensitive towards our parents. The relationship is aggravated when our parents try to control us, but they actually truly concern about us. Sometimes, i feel so sorry for my parents as i do not bother to contact them and even give a simple inquiry if they are doing fine over there.
Anyway, i have made the card to my mom which consisted of my picture and my el-der's using photo shop. All credits to Dr. Meaty as she guides me along using such software.

another bitter escape
7:20 AM